Making the first phone call to a prospective date can be nerve
wracking and embarrassing. Each person involved is probably wondering whether
they should call first or wait to receive a call. As it goes, there isn’t really
a set rule here, you should listen to your instincts and if you really want to
call someone and ask them on a date, just pick up the phone and do it.
Of course, making that first phone call before a date can be much easier if you
are prepared. However, the call should not seem scripted or too thought out. It
could end up sounding stiff and awkward. Just think a little about your reason
for calling, what you want to say and where you want the call to lead.
The opening line will be the hardest to get right. Try tracking back to where you
met the person and use that as a starting point. Start by telling them that it
was lovely to meet them and refer to where you met. If for example, you got
chatting when your train was delayed; ask if they managed to get to their
Follow your instincts about when to make the call. An immediate call can appear
too keen but waiting too long can seem like you are playing a game. If you
really have been too busy to make a call, just say so. There is no rule as to
whether a man or a woman should call first. This is the 21st century after all.
Keep the call fairly brief. Chatting to someone for hours like an old friend
during the first phone call is a bit too intense. Say what you need to say and
show some interest in what they have to say but bring the call to an end without
talking about your plans for the rest of your life or a breakdown of your whole
Don’t be a phone menace. If you try to call the number and do not get an answer
immediately do not be tempted to call repeatedly, leave a stream of voicemail
messages or send text after text. People have busy lives. Try again a day later
if you do not get a response.
Don’t be tempted to resort to text messaging. Talking in person is important; it
gives each person a second chance to chat before agreeing to a date. It is much easier to convey a message through speech than it is in a text message.
Anyone should appreciate your effort to make a call.
Plan where you want the phone call to lead. If you are making the call, you
probably want to see the person again. Have a suggestion or two ready for when
you can meet and what you will do when you meet. Suggest a restaurant that you
would like to try or an event that you are planning to attend. If you suggest a
night and your date is not available, ask for an alternative. If you still can’t
set a date, ask them to give you a call when they are free and leave it at that.
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